Ashton Gate Early Leavers Gas Sex Plot Exposed
The Daily Wurzel has finally uncovered the real reason why hundreds of so called City fans are leaving Ashton Gate up to ten minutes before the final whistle has blown as many are hurrying across to sex parlour in North Bristol to get their own whistles blown.
An undercover reporter from BS3, posing as a Fake Shaq, managed to uncover an incredible plot masterminded by Bristol Rovers manager, kit man, and groundskeeper Paul Trollope.
Mistaking our fake shaq as an international donkey dealer, Trollope boasted how he had enraged Gary Johnson by making some of his fans lave early during the crucial last stages of his home games. In an attempt to destabilise Bristol City's march to the top of the championship, Trollope has been enticing the Ashton Gate faithful away from supporting their team with hundreds of discount vouchers for various acts too lewd for this family website to describe in much detail. Trollope described with
glee how he had bribed the matchday programme printers to stuff his disgusting vouchers into the programmes.
The vouchers themselves offered special discounts at Trollope's Trollops, a notoriously filthy massage parlour with really ugly looking women situated in the Memorial Ground, whorefield. In an incredible twist the vouchers offer 50% off for a limited period on City matchdays from 16.45 to 17.00 on Saturdays and 21.15 to 21.30 midweek. In order to put Trollope's boasts to the test Three lions and a robin challenged some of the so-called City fans making their way from Ashton Gate five minutes from the end.
The response proved worrying for Johnson's plea to stay until the end; "Fuck the last minute equaliser from Jamie McComb, I'm off for a titwank", and "I've had enough of the constant Johnson bashing - I'm going to get some bishop bashing of my own done down the Gloucester Road"
Q: What do you get if you see a Bristol Rovers fan buried up to his neck in sand?
A: More sand.
Q: What's the difference between Bristol Rovers and an albatross?
A: An albatross has got two decent wings.
Q: What is the difference between Bristol Rovers and the bermuda triangle?
A: The bermuda triangle has three points.
A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored judge said to him "So why don't you want to live with your dad?"
"Because he beats me" said the little boy.
"Why don't you want to live with your mum then?" asked the judge.
Because she beats me aswell.
"Oh" said the judge "Well who would you like to live with then?"
The little boy replied" I would like to live with Bristol Rovers, because they don't beat anyone!!"
How many Gas Scum does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
