A man without a ticket scales the walls of ashton gate to watch city
about 5 minutes before the kick off he looks around for a spare seat,
he sees one of the cider gliders. He asks the cider glider if the seat is taken,
'no' says the man, 'it was my wife's but she died, we have been watching city matches
every year for the past 35 years, same seats every year, sit down you can have the seat'.
After a short while the man says to the cider glider 'did you not have any friends or
relative who would have like your wife's seat', 'Oh yes' said the old man,
'but they are all at her funeral'..
A ROBIN walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a ROBIN".
"I see your eyes are working", replies the ROBIN. "And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see your ears are working." says the ROBIN, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?
I'm working on the building site across the road and I only have 30 minutes for lunch.? The ROBIN drinks his beer,
eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him,
"You're with the circus aren't you? I know this ROBIN that would be just brilliant in your circus,
he talks, drinks beer and everything!".
"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "Get him to give me a call" So the next day when the ROBIN comes
into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. ROBIN, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the ROBIN, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus." says the landlord. "The circus?" the ROBIN enquires.
"That's right." replies the landlord. "The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the
big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?, asks the ROBIN. "That's right!" says the landlord.
The duck looks ROBIN, "What the hell would they want with a plasterer?"
Wurzel - Zummerzet
Bissn't Aren't, e.g. Thee bissn't goin' far. Opposite of Bist (see below).
Bist Are, e.g. Thee bist = you are. See also 'Ow Bist below.
Cassn't Can't. See also 'N below for an example.
Couss Could.
Coussn't Couldn't.
Dollop Lump, quantity. Examples: a girt dollop of spaghetti; gave her a dollop o' girt big jollop
'Ee Normally thee (=you); or he, depending on context, e.g. Hark at 'ee, Jacko; Don't tell I, tell 'ee
'Em Them - see 'M.
Girt Great, big. Examples: girt dollop of spaghetti; put on thy girt big hat; girt big 'ats 'n' cloaks; girt big blackthorn stick
Hassn't Haven't. See also 'N below for an example.
I Me, e.g. Don't tell I, tell 'ee; Look at 'ee lookin' at I
Jollop Medicine
'M Depending on context, means either am, him, or them. Am is used instead of are, e.g. We'm, They'm. 'M or 'Em is used instead of him or they, e.g. don'm = doesn't he or don't they. Sort o' confusin', en'm?!
'N It, e.g. Thee's got'n where thee cassn't back'n, hassn't? = You've got it where you can't reverse it, haven't you?
Oh Ar Means lots of things, according to context and intonation, e.g. OK, I see, is that so?,...
See also Ooh Ar.
Ooh Ar Popularised by the Wurzels (post-Adge Cutler) and became a sort of catch-phrase for the band. More of a sort of triumphant cry of Wurzel jubilation than an expression having any specific meaning. For prime examples, listen to songs such as Combine Harvester, I Am A Cider Drinker, The Tractor Song, Funky Farmyard, Farmer Bill's Cowman, etc.
'
Ow bist?,
'Ow bist 'ee? How are you? A greeting.
Scrumpy Cider. Traditionally the Wurzels' favourite form of refreshment, rivalled only by beer in Wurzel drinking popularity, and therefore mentioned in many Wurzel Songs, e.g. I'll Never Get A Scrumpy Here, I Am A Cider Drinker, Drink Up Thy Zider, Drink, Drink, Yer Zider Up, etc.
For more information about scrumpy, see the Scrumpy 'n' Western Scrumpy User Guide.
Thee You. See also 'Ee.
Them They - see 'M.
They Them, e.g. staler than they = staler than them.
Thick The "th" in thick is pronounced as in this (as opposed to the "th" in thin). Means this or that, depending on context. Thick thur means yonder. Examples: Get up off thick mat; All thick sort o' stuff; What use were all thick learnin'
Thur There. See thick above.
Thy Your. Sometimes pronounced thee, as in Drink up thy zider (pronounced "Drink up thee zider").
'Tis It is. Similarly 'Twill = It will, 'Tain't = It isn't, etc
'Umman Woman. See Wi' below for an example.
Varmer Farmer. Many words beginning with "F" or "Ph" are pronounced as if they begin with a "V", e.g. Vorty-acre vield; Veet;
Varmacist (although I never 'eard Adge say this'n)
Vernigh Very nearly, almost. Example: the garden's vernigh dug. Sometimes pronounced burnigh.
We'm We are, e.g. We'm off to Barrow Gurney. See 'M.
Wi' With, e.g. An 'umman wi' a few spare pound
Zider Cider (see Scrumpy above). Many words beginning with "S" or a soft "C" are pronounced as if they begin with a "Z", e.g.
Zummerzet = Somerset
Zider Up Verb meaning to replenish with a sufficient quantity of cider, e.g. Landlord - zider I up or Zider we up!
Zummat Something, e.g. She upped an' zlipped, an' zummat ripped.
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