Sexton hits out at City Kidz
Colin Sexton has hit out at accusations that the young supporters club, City Kidz is nothing but a pile of shit.
When questioned about the success of City Kidz, Sexton gave us this candid statement
"I've worked hard on modelling City Kidz on the successful adult supporters club. It's simply not feasible to have City Kidz involved in any political action such as having a section within the ground or supervised away travel. We know for a fact that once the youngsters get there name in the programme on their birthday, then they will be a City supporter for the rest of their life".
"The previous incantation, City junior strikers, produced nothing but radical left-wing hooligan's intent on creating mischief and mayhem. Their objections to losing their supervised travel and club house were nothing short of revolutionary communism. We are going to keep a close eye on City Kidz, in case any of them get too big for their boots and start demanding "value for money" and complaining about the lack of content in the bag of crap they get when they join".
Sing along with Colin Sex
"Fight, fight wherever you may be,
for an excellent advertising opportunity
sponsor a stand, a player or a goal
hold a conference in the Dolman hall"
"Clap your hands if you dislike the gas"
he's only a poor little gashead,
his ground is all tattered and torn,
he made me feel sad, so I offered 'em our pad,
but Steve says no, he don't support 'em no more.
His uncle and his brother,
His sister and his mother
He won't employ any other,
Gary Johnson's family
Malone - voice of sport
When (if) the pie in the skystad ever gets under way as I understand it the locals are not too happy. As no one seems to have a name for the new place yet (or a temporary home-but that's for another day) why not try to please the slack jaws and make it a holiday destination. After extensive research the scientists at MaloneFM have come up with a name that is both exciting and attractive to the locals.
Why not call it Disleyland?
Start off with calling it Eurodisleyland and if that falls on its ass change it to Disleyland Horfield. A statue of the mighty Craig at the entrance with the familiar very large ears cuddling some kids in a non threatening way would be ideal.
Rides could include 'Hollowheads Incredible Ride' where participants are taken on a journey high, high up in the league to have their hopes turn into ashes before them. 'Its A Small Small Flappy' Footballs are dispatched at a height of no more then five feet off the ground and midget Flappys try to jump and wave their arms at them with the hope of catching the ball. Lem Sips would be on hand in case one of them actually DOES catch a cold. Or a bus.
Customer, or 'gasheads' could be carried around Disleyland on milk floats. And characters with giant heads or 'Atkins' would walk around the park giving out 'information' by swearing in a comical manner at guests, or gasheads.
Food will be a grey lumpy shapeless lump and be sold with the slogan 'Why Not Have A Dollop Of Trollop' the sh*ts would be optional. This would be served up by a catering staff member with a large comical brown noses or Pitman. Laughing at his own jokes the Pitman would chuckle on about how he is best chums with the the catering staff member or 'Osman' all the while cover his hatred with a very thin veneer of mateyness.
And the day ends with the magical firework display when all the play off hopes and flags from the Mickey Mouse (not affiliated with Disleyland) are put in a big pile on the pitch.
And burnt.
Peter Carol will be running coaches to Disleyland but only on every other Saturday during the winter when they will be ferrying several thousand red and white tourists to such attractions as The Valley and Molineux.
Having problems poppet? Tell uncle Roger. I'm (sort of) listening
http://www.subcider.co.uk/subb/
