"Welcome Folks to SEXDOWN TV part of the SEXDOWN LEISURE GROUP for a soccerball experience with Bristol SEXDOWN RED SOX meeting the HERSHEY GURSHEY QUEENS PARK WHANGERS".

" Last time out SEXDOWN RED SOX drew two to two with YEOVIL MFI WICKERMEN in a friendly at SEXDOWN GATE with draftman Leeeeeeeeeeee " Mr image rights "Trundle 185 lbs showing some powerful offense along with some real dandy balls to go with those studded ADIDAS white sneakers".

"Before the KO here's a quick word about coming attractions for FANtastic consumers at SEXDOWN GATE from SEXDOWN LEISURE 's Commercial Director Colin" honest" Sexstone." "In only seven days, Bristol has the chance to see the best of what English soccerball has to to offer-in the professional soccerball kind of way. SEXDOWN RED SOX in conjunction with SEXDOWN LEISURE present the BSRS ANNE SUMMERS SOCCERBALL SUPER SPECTACULAR PACK to celebrate the one year anniversary of SEXDOWN RED SOX by offering a hot hot ticket package to see a pair of games, plus a super FANtastic bonus folks. First BSRS face Northern Super powerhouse SCUNTHORPE IRON featuring lots of top stars then two weeks later it's SRS v another Mega power house of the North full of national teamers the BARNSLEY BISTO TYKES . Remember folks buy the ANNE SUMMERS SOCCERBALL SUPER SPECTACULAR PACK it will guarantee you a hot hot hot ticket in the luxury MICRA Wedlock KY JELLY stand for only £80. One lucky FANtastic consumer will then be entered free into a bumper draw for my stellar SEXDOWN GATE SUPER SPECTACULAR MEGA FIREWORK EXPERIENCE later in November. This ticket is showing some serious FANtastic burning heat here folks and it's going to sell sell out seventeen times at least over and the price will increase, so do not take that chance of missing out due to others panic buying"!

"Now back to the soccerball action at a packed SEXDOWN GATE "ITTTTT'SS, SOCCERBALL TIME, SEXSTONEE SAYS GO FOR IT, SEXSTONE SAYS GO FOR IT, SEXSTONEE SAYS GO FOR IT, RA RA RED SOX, RA RA SEXDOWN, RA RA SEXDOWN"!

"SEXDOWN SHOWTIME, Trundle " magic daps, magic daps" 185 lbs KO's a slow roller to Johnson Junior centre midfield 160 lbs offensive defense to Centre defense Funtain 6,1 178 lbs he looks into the real estate and punts forward off the right with an air ball to Offense defense right side Brian "Good good good good vibrations (oom bop bop) Shes giving me excitations, (oom bop bop excitations )" Wilson preferred instead of Scott Murray Right side offensive speed flanker. Bad play straight through into the wastebasket and it will be a GK to be taken by the HERSHEY GURSHEY QUEENS goaltender "Not as Sexy as our Colin Sexstone" Camp".

"Time for another word from SEXDOWN LEISURE's Uncle Colin "Trustworthy" Sexstone about forthcoming SEXDOWN GATE experiences". "Don't miss this one folks it's so FANtastically ferociously hot I would sleep with your mother to get one, get those SEXDOWN LEISURE credit cards out and happy swiping. One lucky FANtastic consumer will then again be entered free into a FANtastic draw for my magical SEXDOWN GATE SUPER SPECTACULAR FIREWORK MEGA EXPERIENCE. Demonstrate your brand loyalty to SRS do not delay. It's a no brainer this one as it will sell out at least sixty two and a half times this ticket people and the price will increase soon so do not take the chance of missing out. SEXDOWN V SWINDON HONDA HONDA HONDA ROUNDABOUT and their team led by FRUIT OF THE LOOM Wales National Team striker Christian "Sobriety" Roberts and former SEXDOWN Star hitman Lee "fit as a fiddle" Peacock in the DUREX FEATERLITE SUPER SOCCER SIX FAMILY CUP. Furiously hot hot tickets are £25 for adults £15 for juveniles or a Supa Deal discounted £79 . 50 for a family of four . One lucky FANtastic consumer will then be entered FREE OF CHARGE into a FANtastic draw for my magical SEXDOWN GATE SUPER SPECTACULAR FIREWORK EXPERIENCE later in November. Don't delay with this one as it will sell out a thousand and one times over with queuing reaching Totterdown by tomorrow folks and that price can't stay that low more than an hour longer"!

"Well you have missed a goal strike folks but we can't always keep with all the soccerball play otherwise you might miss out on that blisteringly hot offer. It's SEXDOWN zip HERSHEY GURSHEY one QUEENS PARK WHANGERS zip"!

"Thankfully Colin "Trust me" Sexstone has sent me a memo so you will not miss out on the the weather check brought to you by BRISTOL TRADE CENTRE" The weather in the SEXDOWN area will be showing a maximum temp of 31c , "that's serious heat folks, SEXDOWN heat", and outlook over the SEXDOWN BS3 area will be the same over the SEXDOWN weekend.

"Another memo from the Chinaman and it's time for some Soccerball stats sponsored by LANSDOWN HARGREAVES. SEXDOWN are outshooting 3-1 HERSHEY GURSHEY QUEENS in the first period with pass completion at 67% up by 2% last time out, down from last terms parallel by 3% but up in real terms on last forty five of the ninety by 1% but down on the pre season by 7% . Those were exciting Soccer ball action stats brought to you by LANSDOWN HARGREAVES".

"Back to the Soccer ball action Well you have missed another goal strike folks but we can't always keep with all the soccerball play when there are soccer ball stats as interesting as that to be heard. It's SEXDOWN one HERSHEY GURSHEY QUEENS one. " Mr image rights " Trundle 185 lbs plays off the right to Johnson Junior centre midfield 160 lbs offensive defense, curve ball to the outer, draftman left side offensive speed flanker MacMacMacMacMcCindowww 177 lbs comes to the inner twenty five SHOOTS FOR THE UPPER NINETY , it's a Doosey, airball, GK QUEENS. HERSHEY GURSHEY goaltender punts upfield, veteran Carey defensive centre 181 lbs headstrike on the return, obstruction against QUEENS pass interference FK SEXDOWN. Johnson Junior centre midfield last time out stats v YEOVIL MFI WICKERMEN 31-6-3-4 plays a slow roller off the right to the inner and centre midfield offensive defense partner Draftsmen Marvin Elliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooottttt, IT'S A BUM RUSH, DISPOSSESSED, it's the WHANGERS on the offensive from the outer with enough time for a skoobie snack looking to cross field, defensive centre veteran Carey moves to cover the horrorshow, WHOOOAAA BUM RUSH ELLIOTT, defensive offense centre midfield darftsmen Elliott has bum rushed the original bum rusher, lets check the yardage on that, thirty eight yards to make the sack, John "the Wad" Holmes would be proud of that measurement folks. Back to the action from SEXDOWN GATE brought to you by SEXDOWN TV part of the SEXDOWN LEISURE GROUP

" Time for another word from SEXDOWN LEISURE's Big Colin "you know it makes sense" Sexstone "Don't miss this FANtastic one folks as it is soooooooo searingly hot people Jesus could not get one and there will be rioting on the streets when it sells out. This price is so cheap again it could sell out a million times before ……….."!!!