Whom loves you baby?
So here we are safely ensconced for the time being in the Championship and some of you dear readers see the next step up as the promised land. You have really bought into the dream of over priced players and hangers on. But just wait a moment. Lets take Hull out of this because the are really just us in different shirts.
Who really deep down do you have any time for up there?
Lets start from the top.
Manchester United.
A opinionated pig headed blinkered bullying manager. Players on wages that would save most banks and the largest fan base in the world. That never get to see them live.
Chelski
The best performing blue tinged team in the county. Waayy too much money and if Abramovich gets bored will see them sink like a brick in the Malago. All fur coat, no knickers and Ashley Cole.
Liverpool
They hate their manager. He has won them the European cup but thats not good enough. They want the league. Which they will not get as long as I have got a hole in my wrinkly old arse. The owners hate each other. Its a regular love fest up there.
Aston Villa
Presently the only side that are gate crashing the party organized by Ferguson. Martin O Neil left Celtic to look after his ill wife. Very commendable. Get better did she? She's probably still waiting for him to come back with the Lucozade
Arsenal
Oh dear oh deary deary me. Sky still include these sad old buggers when they mention the team in the hunt for the Champions League. Because they have to.
Everton
Moysie. But blue. And poorer than Liverpool.
West Ham
Punching above their weight. Have got the Fonz out of retirement cleaning the bogs in Arnolds to run the show. East end cockney wife beaters.
Manchester City
More money than god. Threw most of it at Ribina who has proven to be a lazy over paid little bugger. Fancy that. Sparky Hughes you sign on every second Tuesday at 11:00. Kaka wouldn't go there but Craig Bellamy would. So kaka in all but abilty then.
Wigan
The JJB is generally empty on most match days which gives you room to stretch your legs. Purveyors of Northern Soul. I like them. Apart from the blue mind.
Fulham
Like Chelski. Near Chelski. But don't belong with Chelski. A second division outfit kept afloat by the conspiracy loving grocer.
Bolton
Hate Megson nearly as much as the scousers hate Benitez. Saying that we played them in the Freight Rover Trophy final and won. I like them. They had Jay Jay Ocotcha when he was good and not fat.
Tottenham
HA HA HA HA HA! NEXT!
Sunderland
Got rid of Roy Keane who in turn called Quinn and the rest of the board a bunch of bastards. Underachievers who took money from us for Stewart and Bridges. Bunch of bastards.
Joke
Tiny Penis. s**t hole of a ground. Look we haven't got that much life left for me to list all of it so we'll leave it there shall we?
Newcastle
A ground full of fat men with no shirts on. A big club that has won bugger all since 1955 or thereabouts which just makes them crap. But consistent crap. King Kev got it right and walked away. Again.
Portsmouth
Home of cheating handball freak Crouch. Got rid of Tony Adams before he could take them down. Redknapp left so he could take someone else down instead. Blue. And that fat bastard with the bell.
Blackburn
Good once. A long time ago. Now proving what a class act fat bullying Sam is, He left Newcastle when they were in the s**t. And they still are. And now Blackburn are as well. What does that tell you Sam?
Middlesborough
Despite calling themselves the Boro when it should really be the Borough, cheated us out of the fa cup on penalties. Perennial relegation dodgers I feel the time has finally come. I should have put money on it the way I was going to last year. Southgate. Horse faced penalty misser.
West Brom
I have got a soft spot for the Albion. Its the bird on the badge thing they have. A very good team down the Gate last year but their 'fans' are now turning on Mowbray. Thanks for that.
So that's all of them. The only ones I have got time for are Bolton and Wigan. They go about the business with minimal fuss. Win a few draw a few. Got decent grounds. But I feel I have to go with Bolton.
Unless Bruce gets his ###### nose sorted out!
