Mind you I had a similar reaction when I first saw Elvis and the Beatles. Why bother when we have got Pat Boone and Vera Lynn?

My hackles were first raised when speaking to Colin Sexcase who insisted that the redevelopment of the East End (now it didn't happen, you are right) would include 5 year debenture seats for about £1000. And boxes on the top tier.

I asked him what his plans were about officially calling it the East End. Isn't there still a Kop? A Shed? A Streford End? Even the Database Computers (or whoever) East End. His response was that it was always known as the 'covered end' even before it was the Wedlock. Not so I argued and there is now a ground full of people who have never seen fatty Wedlock play, have no idea he is buried in Arnos Vale and the pub named after him is falling down. It's the popular home supporters end and should remain as the East End whoever the sponsors are.

He then found an excuse and had to speak to 'someone'.

At the open day I heard Sir Steve belly up to sponsorship and let slip the words 'Ashton Vale stadium'. It will be named after the highest bidder, for example The Dunsford Dairies Stadium. If he coughs up, it's his.

Really, really it will.

The stands will be the Pirelli stand, the Ginsters Pasty stand, The Tesco end and the Aldi end. He then said that even with all this they would still be falling short in funds. Will there be a station to cope with the extra influx? If someone else wants to build it, yes.

Capacity? 30,000 and IF they managed to get some bolt on Meccano bits then 40,000 IF it was chosen as a World Cup venue.

I sought out my chum Colin and asked a few more questions. To redevelop the Gate according to him, Colin Sexyboy, less, capacity the same and it will still be called Ashton Gate. His only problem was that stands would have to be shut during redevelopment. Well why doesn't the redevelopment begin in march and have six clear months to be finished before the next season?

Colin's phone then rang.

Now I'm all for flicking the v's at the poor relations but I fancy this is an fur coat and no knickers exercise where we will be left sitting in a nice new house we can't afford with no atmosphere. Because when all is said and done regarding putting hands in pockets, you lot are well down on the list.

Malone FM The Voice of Sport