Three lions and a Robin

Q. From jimmy mans 40 yd.

ELVIS! Is it acceptableto crack one out at work?

if yes, where do you stand on the whole washing your hands afterwards debate?

Elvis Answer!

Truly depends where you work. If you were a chef I could see potential problems. Also the precise location within the workplace raises questions eg if you were a teacher and you chose to do the deed in front of a class of children I feel a legal problem could arise as well as your appendage. Similarly if you were an undertaker or vicar uproar and outrage could be caused.

As for the hygene element you could always delegate the manual labour element of the task (perhaps to a secretary ?) thus avoiding any contamination and probably creating a more enjoyable experience.

Q, From Malone Fm,

Dear King of R n R, Which came first? You or Shakin' Stevens?

Elvis Answer!

Are you referring to that Welsh RnR impersonator? The denim clad imposter cannot sing for shit.

When you say "came" hope you wern't referring to a potential gay affair you cheeky old fruit

Q, From DR F. Dear Elvis, Do you prefer a nicely shaved young filly, or are you more a fan of the old organic dental floss?

Priscilla is a fox in the sack by the way.

Elvis Answer: I have to admit that I have a preference to a delicately shaved landing strip. A humid hungle is a definite turn off.

Hope you kissed Priscilla as I come my muck into her mouth every day and it's gratifying to consider that a gas head may have a few of my tadpoles prancing across his tongue.

Q. From North street, Dear Elvis, Tactical nuances, Dear Elvis it is blatantly apparent to anybody with half a brain that Johson is playing 25 centimetres too deep and that Showumni needs to curve his runs by an extra 13%.

I am right am I not?

Elvis Answer: North Street is a tactical genius. To a shortarse like Johnson 25 centimetres is a

fucking lot in relative terms. A lanky streak of piss like Enoch will tangle his ample legs if he miscalculates his angle of dangle.

DRINK DRINK, wherever we may be, We are the drunk + disorderly

and we don't give fuck, and we don't give a shit

coz city's in the championship

my old man said be a rovers fan,

i said fuck off, bollox your a cunt,

we hate the rovers and they all know it

we hate the rovers and we'll fucking show it,

with hattches and hammers

carvin knife and spanners

we'll show them gas head bastards how to fight (fight, fight)

you'll never take the eastend with the city on it.

fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.

The wankie bristol rovers went to rome to see the pope

and this is what he said.....FUCK OFF...

Whooooooooooooooooo's that team they call the rovers

who's that team that never score

and they play in blue 'n' white

and they are a load of shite

and (managers) mother is a whore

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's a whore

(managers) mother is a whore

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's a whore

(managers) mother is a whore

YOU GO DOWN AND DRINK 10 PINTS

YOU GET YOURSELF RIGHT PLASTERED

THEN YOU GO HOME AND

BEAT YOUR WIFE YOU

DIRTY NORTHERN BASTARDS

I'm in love with a girl next door

smell my fingers

I've been there 3 times before

smell my fingers

As I was walking down Stapleton Road,

Singing, singing “City are the

champions”,

I saw Don Megson lying in the road,

ay-oh, ay-oh,

I said to him “what’s up my friend?”,

He said “the East End’s here again”

Singing, singing “City are the

champions”,

Singing, singing “City are the best”.

John Galley, Superstar

How many goals has he scored so far?

21 or 22?

How many more will he score for you?

If I had the wings of a sparrow

If I had the arse of a crow (chris crow)

I'd fly over rovers tommorrow

And shit on the bastards below

shit on, shit on, shit on the bastards below, BELOW!

shit on, shit on, shit on the bastards below.

Who are the people?

we are the people

Who are the scum?

They are the scum, sum-dedlie-dum dum, dum dum