Welcome to Three Lions and a Robin Eight

Ello young ‘uns and welcome to another cider stained issue of 3 lions and robin.
Well we’ve had plenty of ups and downs since the last edition, in fact more uppers and downers than Quadraphenia. In fact so far our season has closely mirrored the career of that ginger bird, at the start; well worth a knee trembler against a brick wall, but now looking slightly dodgy and threatening to blow up in our faces – bit like her lips. But never mind we’re keeping the faith in Johnson Bros. & Son.

The whorefield blue few are continuing to drip piss on their shoes with more lame attempts at developing the ground that’s not theirs. Their latest pipe-dream of turning the cabbage patch into another student farm is bound to go the way of Kerry Katona’s melons (again).

Anyway talking of celebrities making a tit of themselves, Nick Higgs (the latest victim on the conveyor belt of blue tripe chairman) has reacted with outrage at the number of complaints received by Offcom over the prank calls made by Ross and that hairy twat Brand, speaking from his portaloo construction company headquarters “that Andrew Sachs Manuel character got off lightly when it came to being plagued by filthy BBC Radio 2 presenters, I had to put up with incessant calls from Ken Brucey warning me he wants to nudge my fudge, whilst that Parky has sent me pictures of his plonker to my mobile. I had to delete the videos of Wogey wanking straight away, what Janice Longy does with that no-longer-funny northern ginger freak Evans is quite frankly sick”.

Enough of that celebrity crap and let’s get back to the football. Our congratulations go to Bournemouth with their fine FA win last week over the filthies, thus saving us from a repeat of last season’s TV horror show, something the quite frankly pathetic Southampton proved unable to do. In the premier league we pay homage to Hull City’s achievement of equalling name of The Housemartin’s first album “London 0 Hull 4, with their successive wins over the loudmouths from the capital. Keep it up Hull as the Housemartin’s second album was “The people who grinned themselves to death”, we can’t wait for that one on match of the day. The less said about our performance against Reading the better, but hold on cider drinkers, before we smooth over the on pitch debacle let’s spend a few minutes on our own off pitch performance.

Despite being pummelled by the no-history-crap-plastic-ground-puny-credit-card-bought-journeymen-with-mockney-accents-from-somewhere-on-the-M4, the eastenders completely outsung the “fans” of the above “club”. A truly superior performance by the eastend faithful that was so good even other parts of the ground became suspicious something had been put in our cider. With four imaginary goals, a conga and plenty of piss taking of the blue and white losers next to us to, it was a night that will go down in eastend folklore.

Perhaps the Reading game was indeed a one off, as City bounced straight back with a fantastic win at Southampton and great goal from Johnson Junior. The football played at Southampton and the support shown at the Reading game was fantastic.

If even one word has offended your sensibilities so far turn back because it only goes downhill further. We be Wurzels and don't do any of this PC bull and make light of adversity and the crushing fan uber bores of Reading FC.

The next Three Lions and a Robin will appear in March 2009 and will "probably" contain yet more cider fundamentalism, dodgy songs, interviews with fellow Wurzels, obsessional lunancy about the Eastend and optimistically articles about what fans are getting up to at their clubs .

Anybody wishing to contribute please note we make not one cider token out of it and the standard of writing does not have to be exactly lofty. Articles, observations, random stuff tenuously linked to City,  jokes etc along with the hate mail from the one and very lonely Gas Casual can be sent to -


This was what the west has been waiting for.