Note there will be profanities and if you are at work TURN THY COMPUTERS SPEAKERS OFF this baby makes noises.
None of the following may make sense to you at all.
Please remember to not take it all too seriously. If you disagree with something just take some deep breaths and you will be ok! It's a fan/webzine and given the irreverent off the wall spirit of fanzines we have an excuse to hide behind. The overall driver is here is to be positive and uphold traditional supporting culture v modern tweedom.
So starting off with a few words about the new away kit with its tradition ditching for blue and lemon peel; IT'S FUCKING SHIT … Moving on ... Last season even before it started somebody should have looked into Steve Coppells crazy eyes and asked a simple question, "You in your crazy heart Steve DO want this job don't you?" One simple truth would have saved a wasted season and wasted millions. This time around first game of the season there will be none of those problems with non-mental, dependable, honest, solid, stout oak like Keith Millen. Here we can see it all. The football will go backwards, forwards or even stay the same, but there will be no imitating scenes from one flew over the Cuckoo's nest from Mr Millen.
The tradition ditching kit was not the clubs only PR gaffe. Open day brought the clubs " Biggest Team Picture!"
Stated Bristol City FC. "The focal point of this year's event will be the club's Biggest Team Picture (BTP), which will see fans wearing the new away shirt pictured with City boss Keith MIllen and the players in the Atyeo Stand. All fans who participate will receive a free copy of the photo. If you have yet to purchase an away shirt and would like to take part in the BTP, away shirts are on sale now".
Limiting access to this "free and open" event to those purchasing shirts costing £40 financially penalises those who don't want the shirt, those on benefits [fans with disabilities in particular] and those with low incomes. Legally the club have done nothing wrong, but against the ethos of the Community Trust the event was ill judged and looks decidedly less than "Community" spirited [mean, unfair and unnecessary].
A quick look at the Biggest Team Photo revealed a lack of fans in wheelchairs. Hopefully they were there in amongst it, if not, why not? The answer may reveal how poorly conceived the Adidas and Bristol City's event was.
City striker Nicky Maynard said: "I'm always proud to pull on adidas clothing, whether it's in training or in matches. It's the best around by far".
"Last season's player of the season Albert Adomah said: "Hopefully I'll be on fire in the red shirt for the new season and I can entertain all fans who wear it like me."
Strange words from two of City's players it's almost like they are being operated by a global sporting brand by their rectums. By all means sell kits but we want the REAL Albert back, he is a comic genius
According to the bookies our stout oak like Millen is amongst the early front runners to get the boot-
6/1 - Nigel Pearson (Hull City), 6/1 - Steve Cotterill (Portsmouth),7/1 - Sean O'Driscoll (Doncaster), 8/1 - Nigel Clough (Derby), 8/1 - Oak like stout one (Bristol City), 8/1 - Andy Thorn (Coventry), 8/1 - Simon Grayson (Leeds United), 10/1 - Eddie Howe (Burnley), 10/1 - Sven Goran Eriksson (Leicester).
Well we gave it some thought and came up with our own odds for the front runners.
6/1 - Ian Holloway (Blackpool), 7/1 Ian Holloway (Blackpool), 8/1 Ian Holloway (Blackpool), 9/1 Ian Holloway (Blackpool). The pressure is on Holloway this season. He and his ego will go radio rental knowing Hansen and Lawrenson are no longer talking about him.
Close season brought a few ins and outs to shake it all about. Yannick Bolaisie, Neil Kilkenny signed, somebody else as well to replace somebody else. Charlie Adam showed a real lack of ambition choosing Anfield instead of the once vacant creative midfield vacancy at Ashton Gate. Lee Johnson decided to stay on for another season to boss the centre of the park delighting his legions of fans in the Dolman. Louis Carey and David James signed one year contracts to do the waving at people telling them where to stand and generally look like they know what they are doing. After that to be honest as long as its stout dependable solid Keith getting them in instead of crazy eyes Coppell that's 100% right with us … they will be GREAT all of them.
Across the cut, then the centre, through the anti Tesco Stokes Croft riot zone into Whorefield the Gas are celebrating being two divisions away from Bristol's finest for the first time in history. So pleased with the achievement are the Gas they are reminding themselves of it all by only signing players that at one point were at City.
All the anti City chirping from the Blockhead end will take on a delicious irony unfathomable to a Gashead as one of their hero's hits the Baptist Chapel with the wrong type of cross on Gloucester road. Wasn't so long ago Joe Anyinsah was tearing the full back a new arse at Hillsborough in City red. Shame was Joseph's head kept running thinking it deserved better, grass is greener and all that and it's going to be Rovers blue away at Accrington.
Highlights of the friendlies was not the discovery of Blackthorn in Portugal, or the defeat, draw or maybe victory at Trumpton over the colossus Baff City, twas this gem of a tale from Melksham and Chippenham Reds at Torquay. Shortly before kick off the boys several pints down the line after natch in the van decided it was time to set off for Plainmoor. "Skuse us Landlord wheres the ground too?" Enquired our intrepid reds. " Ahh straight down ere, left right can't miss im, its minutes walk away boys" says Landlord. Five minutes later our reds are staring at the sight of Paignton Rugby Football Club, wrong ground, wrong sport, wrong Town.
And finally if at some point in this coming season you are becoming tired and emotional drink, if like Nicky Hunt you are distressed and overwhelmed by all the activity around you drink, if none of it turns out like you expected drink. Football is far more fun when you concentrate on the positives of being a football fan than concentrating on somebody not being able to move a football from A to B four yards away or a young kid diamonds in his ear moving on or not or maybe for more diamonds.
There will be another fanzine come April ready for the Famous Three Lions flagtastic flag day. As normal anybody who wants to contribute please do, anybody wanting to get in contact please do and even the basement clubs fans hate mail gets an answer - firstname.lastname@example.org
August 6th One, two, three When the Moon Shines on the Cowshed …
UP THE CITY
Legal Disclaimer type thing:
These pages are not endorsed or connected in any way with Bristol City Football Club. Bristol City FC does not contribute in any way to these pages The views expressed in these pages are for personal purposes only and in no way reflect the views and opinions of Bristol City FC. Those responsible for putting this webzine do not gain financially and the views expressed here may not be that of the Editor ...
Thanks to Mr Sean Donnelley of the Three Lions West Street Bedminster for sponsoring this fanzine and the When the Moon Shines website.